StudioGlyphic

Thank God.

HOW I SCREWED THE IPHONE SCALPERS
Date: 2007-06-30, 2:30PM PDT

Last night I called about 50 (FIFTY!) different scalpers, first calling the greediest - those wanting over $1,000 for iPhones.

I started having them deliver my new iPhone to my “home” on Lincoln. Hint: this “home” of mine has a big AT&T sign above the door. I made a point of calling those that would have at least a 30 minute drive, too. For those on the Westside, I sent them to a store in Hollywood.

But then some of them wanted to meet in a public place, and they suggested the In ‘n Out near my “home.” When they started to arrive, some would call, I’d ask what they were wearing, and I’d tell them I was wearing what the last guy I spoke to was wearing.

I can see it now. “Are you the guy that wants my easy-to-get, available in every Apple Store iPhone, but wants to pay over $1,000 cash in the middle of the night for it?” “Why no, I’m trying to dump mine too!”

HAHAHA!

But it gets better. I started suggesting the 7-11 on Lincoln in Venice. Once about a dozen of them were there, all getting kinda pissed - they kept calling saying that there were others there (I told them I wanted to buy a bunch of them), once I got a good crowd going, I showed up… AS ONE OF THEM!

I pretended I was one of them, and got to hear their tales of woe, spending all day in line to try to scalp, but now it looked like they were getting screwed.

Oh, it was a hoot. Yes, I know, bring on the hate. But I gotta tell ya, it was FUCKING HILARIOUS to see all of these 20-something losers who spent their rent money so they could try to fuck with proper sales to actual buyers that would activate the phone immediately. They were trying to mess with my Apple stock investment!

And now this morning their prices have dropped by hundreds of dollars, now they are down to no more than a few hundred over retail for most of the ads. So I did you, dear buyer, a huge favor, by wasting their time and making them wait overnight to sell, now there are more on the market, and people can see that it’s easily available at Apple stores.

Anyway, it was a fun two hours of my night. And they can try to get me on the phone again, but they never will, because the number I gave them is from a throwaway cell phone number, it’s a spare phone of mine.

Later, suckers!

There’s something about Craigslist anonymity that brings out the best in people.

They made this awesome map:

Online Communities

Click for full-size original.

And this awesomer comic:

M.C. Hammer Slide

They is probably he.

Son of a bitch. I just realized there’s additional commentary in the title attribute of every image.

Danny & His Amazing Teeth

I like the accents and the dental work.

Some fantastically funny stuff over at this Scribd page:

They Didn’t Study

I find this site dedicated to praising and selling IBM keyboards rather charming.

IBM model M keyboards.

“Are you a real computer expert or just a low-end computer user?

You need to use a real keyboard. The IBM Model M keyboard.”

They provide a short history of the IBM keyboard and include diagrams from IBM’s patent for the all-important “Bucking Spring torsional snap actuator” which gives the IBM keyboard its signature clicky sound and feel.

Heroes Zeroes

This is a parody done by NBC to promote “Heroes,” but it’s actually pretty funny.

I’m black and I’m proud!

Beat the Devil

God Bless James Brown.

Hu’s on First? starring President Bush and Secretary Rice…

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While I doubt I would have done any blogging in the past two weeks if I didn’t have a Wii to suck up all my time, I’m pretty sure I would have been looking for something pokery to do. As it was, I got my clammy hands on a Nintendo Wii the night before Thanksgiving thanks to a very cool guy I work with, and didn’t put down the controls until I’d beaten the new Zelda game. Even then I decided to look up some nifty strategy guides over at Gamespot and try out some of the things I hadn’t figured out on my own.

This coming weekend, however, will likely give me my fill of pokery things for a little while to come. With the women out of town or otherwise preoccupied, Absinthe and I will be sharing a room over at the Jihad Casino and Resort Hotel. I don’t expect to use it much. And I suppose I’ll participate in this Caesars tournament that’s going on, too. It’s too bad that the future Mrs. Glyphic won’t be there, because I feel she adds a certain tilt factor that almost assuredly works in my favor. Then again, I think Bill’s the blogger most likely to appreciate the tilt, and from what I can tell, he won’t be joining us this time around.

See you there.

Bus Pirates: Episode 1

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The main actor reminds me of F-Train.