StudioGlyphic

From the latest issue of Wired:

Shockingly Small Change
It unleashes 10,000 megawatts of instantaneous energy .... [Inventor] Basura ... usually focuses all that juice on a US quarter. When he does, the coin doesn't melt or vaporize. Instead, with an ear-shattering crack, its molecules rearrange and nuzzle closer, shrinking the coin's circumference to that of a dime.

I pulled up to Flower and Exposition and spotted a parking spot just across the intersection. Then I noticed the blue Honda in the first right turn lane maneuver her vehicle into the second right turn lane. I knew she wanted to go straight. There was an outside chance she also wanted to steal my parking spot. Well, we'll see about that.

As soon as the light changed I zipped forward and slid into the space. As I Austin Power'd the car into position, I noticed the Honda with its right turn indicator blinking hovering by my spot while blocking the through traffic. The driver was saying something out of her window to me. I got out of the car.

"You took my spot. I was in the right lane waiting for that spot! You were all the way over there."

She pointed vaguely at the middle of the road behind her.

"I was in the right-most lane that goes straight. You were in the right turn lane. There are two right turn lanes."

"I know, I didn't see that and then I moved into the other lane as soon as I saw the spot."

Uh-huh.

Blue arrow is me, green arrow is her. Red arrow is the disputed parking space.

Well, I had somewhere to be. So I wasn't about to move, and I don't usually feel sorry for people too stupid to get in the correct lane. In fact, I think those people should be given a lifetime bus pass and stay off my road.

"What a gentleman. Why don't you go back to your own country?"

Ha! Not only stupid, but a racist besides! I hope she gets mugged walking back to her car parked in BFE.

But let's get back to the broader point, here. She was in the right-turn lane and instead of dealing with her mistake and turning right, or waiting until it was safe to merge into the through lane, she decided to force a merge into oncoming traffic only to stop just across the way. That's dangerous. She risked injury and at least one hour of her time just because of her stupidity. Definitely a prime bus pass candidate.

Lately poker has been a lot of blah. And when I say lately, I really mean the past week. Or maybe the past few weeks. Not sure. Anyway, it was great when it was a procrastination tool. Not only could I avoid doing my work, but I was making steady profits everyday. But more recently I feel like I've sort of lost focus and as a result have lost far too many chips. I keep jumping from NLHE SNGs to NLHE to Limit HE to Razz and back again. Worse yet, I find myself chasing lost money or a big score and turning a small positive tally into a negative one, or a small negative tally into a larger one.

The only bright spot has been a couple of SNGs where I felt like I was making some good plays against weaker opponents, making it to first and second. I wore away at smaller stacks through consistent stealing, mixing in some folds in the SB and on the button to keep my credibility.

Unfortunately these finishes have been the exception rather than the rule. This style of play clicks on when I have a stack to work with, otherwise I'm just sitting there and folding trash hand after trash hand waiting and hoping for a big hand to come along. With the short levels on the Full Tilt SNGs, this just isn't possible. You have to accumulate chips and can't just wait for aces or kings to save your weak-tight ass in level 6.

But at least these moments of above-average play exist. I've been thinking for a little while now that I really need to hone my tournament play. I tend to gravitate towards the cash games since they reward patience, but it really does get boring as hell sometimes. Tournaments can be more fulfilling not only because of the big score, but also because of the overarching narrative. It's not just one damn hand after another, but a chain of hands that take you from beginning to middle to end, where any missteps could leave you on that dreaded page where you get eaten by a prehistoric carnivorous plant. But there is a goal, and that's where all the money is.

And of course with the Poker Shelly (FTP), the Poker Bob (PS), the Poker Joe (PP), the Poker Geek (FTP), and the Poker Nerd (PS) all wending their ways successfully through several tournaments in the past couple weeks, I can't help wanting to tag along.

At the very least, this way I only lose $10 or $20 at a time, and not my freaking buy-in when I monkey-play my overpair against a flopped set.

So. I've got my Harrington on Hold 'em. I've got my bankroll. And I've got lots of bookmarks in case I need to go back and follow the other path. Let's go.

Some of us have decided that the only way to get through our Wednesday afternoon class is by drinking beforehand. That's why I'm sitting alone at a bar/lounge across from campus with an empty glass of Glenlivet, my laptop, and my copy of Harrington on Hold'em, feeling like life is pretty good. So where are all the other degenerate grad students? I have no idea. I guess I'll have to order another scotch to keep me company.

Where's my food?

...the last resort of a grad student who doesn't much like his design class.

A reminder:

ACME: A Day in the Life
Saturday, April 30, 2005
8PM
ACME Comedy Theatre
135 N. La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90036
(323) 525-0202
Price: $15

Several of us are going to support poker player/blogger/writer/actor Wil Wheaton and hit the tables at Commerce or the Bike afterwards. If we're lucky we'll get to hear the WPT rundown from the man himself.

Wil Wheaton turned me on to Overheard in NY:

A large bearded black man is holding a big white sign that reads: NINJAS KILLED MY FAMILY. I NEED $$ TO LEARN KUNG-FU AND GET REVENGE.

Drunk yuppie: Ha, ha. So dude, are you really going to become a ninja?! Ha, ha!
Black guy: Nah, man. This is just for humor. This ain't for real.

--Broadway & 76th

Overheard by: M-Co

A big congratulations goes out to...

Poker Nerd, who took first in a $11 NLHE rebuy tourney on Stars. The Venetian owns.

Poker Geek, who took first in a $10 Razz tourney last night on Full Tilt Poker before the IHG to follow on his third place finish in another Razz tourney two nights ago. The secret to his success? "I'm throwing away any starting cards higher than xx8. Unless i have A2 or A3 or something."

I have a working assumption when I play micro-limit Razz. The other guy is always paired (or double-paired) or has a face card (or two) down, so don't worry if you get a brick on 4th or 5th. Cocky, I know, but true more often than not!

Joe Speaker, who took third in a $20 NLHE MTT on Stars late last night/early this morning. Joe was a potential alternate for the IHG, but I think he was better off resting up and kicking ass for a much bigger prize pool.

Sean (Anisotropy), who took second in a $14 Satellite for tonight's 50k Guaranteed tournament on Full Tilt. Also at stake is a piece of Jennifer Harman's action. Geek ought to send him a little mojo for this one.

I finally made it out to the infamous home game, as Joe calls it, for a $20 two table tournament with fhwrdh, the Geek, Absinthe, HDouble, HDouble's buddy, and special guest Mrs. Double. An extra $5 went towards your bounty and $5 more covered the cost of food and drinks. These games are worth hitting up just for the cash games afterwards, as the WPT wannabes are plentiful.

Tourney Time

I was seated Table 1, Seat 3, with HDouble to my right and Absinthe three seats down in seat 6. I posted the BB for the first hand and found QT. The flop came J9X with two suited cards and I bet out my OESD. Seat 4 called and the rest of the table folded. Bet out again on the turn hoping to get a flush draw to fold. The river brought me no help and I checked helplessly. Seat 4 checked behind and turned up J-rag for top pair. So much for that.

In the small blind I found KQs and completed to see a K high flop. I bet out and got min-raised by a jumpy writer guy. The table folded, I re-raised, and was min-raised yet again. I was pretty sure this guy had crap cards, but it could turn out that he had flopped two pair. I bet half the pot on the turn and Jumpy went over the top all-in, loudly announcing that he had to do it. I felt I was good, but it really wouldn't do to go out first in the tourney while only holding top pair. I folded and Jumpy chattered like a monkey. If this had been even one orbit later, I would have called him, but again, second hand...

A whole lot of folding goes by, during which time Absinthe and HDouble get heads-up. After the preflop action, the flop comes all low-medium cards and Absinthe check-raises Hdouble all-in. HDouble insta-calls with aces to Absinthe's tens. The turn gives Absinthe an OESD, and the river completes his 10-high straight. Bad beats and suckouts would be the rule in this game.

Absinthe managed to get into another heads-up pre-flop all-in-fest, this time with lkim, the host of the tournament. Absinthe held KK to lkim's QQ, which made a set on the turn, doubling-up lkim.

With all that folding, I eventually find myself short-stacked, with about 10BB left, when I get deuces in MP. I raise to 3xBB and seat 4 pushes all-in. I figure I need to call with my short-stack and find myself up against QJ. The deck throws all sorts of scare cards out there, including a 9 and a K, but my twos hold up and I double-through.

The very next hand I get A9s in EP and raise to 3xBB and get called by the lkim. The board shows a lot of paint, and surprisingly, lkim and I check it down. The board pairs twice by the river and lkim shows AJ for the same hand.

I think I get AKs in the very next hand and raise once again to 3xBB. Seat 4 raises all-in and Absinthe re-raises all-in. I figure I'm up against two pocket pairs or a pocket pair and a big ace, and don't like my chances in a 3-way. When it's folded to me, I fold face up to the amazement of a couple of the players. Seat 4 shows QQ while Absinthe shows JJ, remarking that any ace or king would be good. I still feel good about my fold and watch as the flop comes K high. Absinthe catches his 2-outer on the turn and no queen comes on the river to save Seat 4.

A while later I get ATs and raise 2xBB from MP. I figure with the size of the blinds, and the hands I've shown raising with, 2xBB is ok. I get called by lkim in the SB and we're heads up. Flop comes Q high, lkim checks, and I decide to check behind. The turn brings an Ace, lkim checks, and I decide to check behind once more. River's a rag and when lkim bets out a little over half the pot, I call. My AT is good against lkim's slow-played QT.

When the tournament gets down to 10 players, we decide to squeeze around one table so that a cash game can start on the second table.

Soon after the 10th place finisher goes out, I find KK on the button. I raise to 3.5xBB and get called by an EP limper. The flop comes ace-high with two clubs. I'm not happy about it, but when the limper checks, I make a continuation bet of the same amount. The limper raises all-in and I figure I'm behind to an ace. I call anyway rather than folding and leaving myself crippled, and I'm surprised to see the limper with 67s. Clubs. To go with the 5c and 8c on the board. Well, I'm ahead, but he's the favorite. I burn and turn a 7, burn and turn another 7. Oof.

With that, I'm out in 9th. And just in time, too, since the cash game is just starting up with Jumpy, who busted in 16th place or something, and English. In case you're wondering, these guys and Blue Shirt are the loose callers I wanted to play against.

Cash on the Table

This was, without a doubt, the best time I've had playing a cash game. In the first orbit or two, Mrs. Double busted HDouble twice, once by spiking a K on the river with her KQ to HDouble's QQ, another time by flopping a boat and letting HDouble bet into her with his trips. I think HDouble's reaction to getting busted by the Missus alone was worth the price of the tourney. Good times.

Of course, when something happens to the other guy, it's comedy. When it happens to you, it's tragedy.

Blue Shirt raised preflop and I called with pocket eights. Mrs. Double called as well, and I believe the rest of the table folded. The flop came 6 high, and when Blue Shirt bet, I raised and was shocked to find both Mrs. Double and Blue Shirt call. I figured them both for draws so I bet the turn as well, which paired the 6. The two additional calls made me nervous, so when Blue Shirt checked the river, I checked, and was glad to see Mrs. Double check behind. Checking was probably the right move for me. Blue Shirt flipped up his sevens, I flipped up my eights, and Mrs. Double flipped up her nines. And there go my initial profits to Mrs. Double.

In fact, Mrs. Double ended up quadrupling or quintupling her buy-in by busting the dead money. Great for her, but I wanted a piece, too. It seemed there was no showdown she couldn't win, usually by spiking two pair or trips on the river, but occasionally by showing down huge dominating hands the other guy didn't have a chance against. As you might be able to tell, there were loose calls mixed in with monsters, and no one at the table could put her on a damn thing. It got so that a busted player would have to buy a stack of dollars from her since she was holding most of the chips.

Eventually the dead money got busted once too often and they sat out or left for the night, leaving five bloggers, HDouble's buddy, Mrs. Double, and Blue Shirt at the cash table. Oh, yes, one by one, the bloggers got thrown out of the tournament on their asses, with Absinthe coming closest to cashing. At any rate, playing at this table stopped being a matter of profitting from the dead money, but rather giving and getting action to shift the chips around. Sure, Blue Shirt and Mrs. Double were still there to call off too many of their chips with weak hands or an overcard, but it was ever so much more fun seeing Jumpy and English get busted, especially if you were on the profitable side of those scenarios.

I closed out the night down $30 for the tourney, bounty, and beer, and up $4.75 for $20NLHE. Next time I'm going straight to the cash game.

But I can't since Full Tilt doesn't really have that many games going, and that's where most of my money is at the moment.

Lost $120 today playing 2/4, 3/6, $5 and $10 SNGs, and $100 NL Hold 'Em.

The NL cash game was whatever--I wasn't catching flops and occasionally I'd make a play at a pot that would get re-raised significantly. Was I outplayed? Maybe, but I didn't think my holdings were strong enough to continue.

There were definitely some suckouts in the limit cash games--if I play back at you on the flop/turn because I know you're full of shit, why are you calling me down with bottom pair or ace high?--but nothing too unusual. Sometimes it's not enough to have over 30 outs when the other guy's got 2 or 3.

No, the thing that's really gotten me feeling antsy, wound up, and irritated is the run of SNGs. On 5 or 6 occasions I was ahead preflop or on the flop, and got brutally beaten on the flop, turn, or river. I seriously don't know how all you people can stand to keep playing these SNGs. I mean, yes, I want these calls each and every time, but when I got outdrawn and knocked out, I feel incredibly frustrated. Sure, it's only $5 or $10, but it still pisses me off to no end.

So. Am I doing something wrong here? Should I raise more than 3xBB in the first few levels with my big pocket pairs? Should I not risk so much of my stack when I flop a set? Should I just stay away from these fucking things because I'm clearly unable to deal?

CardPlayer's got live updates from the WPT tourney Wil's in:

You might have missed this at WWdN if you skipped the comments (I usually do), but I wanted to see what names I recognized in the comments (Badblood and CJ, for instance), and noticed there's a link to his audioblog entry briefly recounting Day 1.

Sounds like a damn good time.

Not to mention the fact that he hung out with Lee Jones and had dinner the night before with Greg Raymer, which made me think, "Wil's not a regular guy after all."

This, of course, is a testament to the openness of his storytelling and daily blogging. When you first read WWdN, you think, "Hey, this guy who was a Star Trek actor sounds like a regular guy. In fact, he's got pretty cool taste in music and I like his politics." Okay, so maybe the second sentence only applies to me. Still, you get the picture. WWdN rounds out the idea that is Wil Wheaton with all the mundane details that make him real (somewhat similar to the detailed scar makeup Wil got on the set of CSI--those details you don't see make the whole more believable). So when these actor/celebrity things pop into the frame every so often, they sometimes seem out of place to me.

Though I have no idea why hanging out with poker players seems more out of place than being in a tv show or hanging out with some celebrity somewhere.

Anyway, regular guy or no, I hope he makes the final table. That'd make for some rad stories.

BandToBand.com lets you trace the family tree of your favorite bands. It's really not that interesting, but the geekier amongst you might like it.

Too cool. Check out Google SMS to find out how you can use Google on your cell phone via text messages.

Shout out to FullTilter ScottMc, who apparently gains insight into my play from this here blog.

1AM Update

So I decided to mix it up a little and try some more limit hold'em on Full Tilt Poker, inspired in part by Absinthe's killing session the other day playing 2/4 and 3/6 on Party's BBJ tables and Pauly's good results at FTP's 3/6 tables.

I guess it's something like, "Hey, if those guys can do it, why can't I?"

But I think I was missing a crucial piece of the argument here; those guys are winning poker players, while I'm just a break-even, thank-God-for-reload-bonuses, small-stakes player.

Nevertheless, I loaded up two 2/4 tables and was patiently folding my trash hands when ScottMc outted me as a blogger. There's always something a little disconcerting when that happens. Suddenly I feel expected to raise hands like 72o out of position and overplay them when I hit bottom pair and the baby flush draw. Especially when you find out you're sitting at a table with two bloggers who will appreciate your starting hand selection.

I'll be honest. I don't like playing the hammer at the NLHE tables because it seems like a cop-out to just raise big and put the pressure on. I mean, sure, that's an important lesson about NL--your cards don't matter in certain situations against certain opponents. But man, if you can pull off a successful hammer bluff in low-limit limit hold'em, you're a god.

Anyway, my love affair with FTP continues. +28BB for the night, for a win rate of 7BB/table-hour, I think. After 25 days of play on FullTilt, I've almost tripled my buy-in (including $180 of bonus money) and have had only three and a half negative tallies during that time. For me, this is a big deal.

So today's lesson for my fellow break-even, thank-God-for-reload-bonuses, small-stakes players is to swing on over to Full Tilt and give it a try.

Hey, if I can do it, why can't you?

There's all sorts of convergence going on in this corner of the universe.

The last time Grubby was in town he found himself sitting next to Danica McKellar at a performance of Questa. Ms. McKellar just happens to be the recent subject of a post by Wil Wheaton for her possible appearance in Stuff Magazine. Mr. Wheaton is currently in Grubby's hometown for a WPT event. But as you know, he'll be jetting back to LA for a book reading and his new comedy show. That's dedication.

You see where this is going, right?

Save the date:

ACME: A Day in the Life
Saturday, April 30, 2005
8PM
ACME Comedy Theatre
135 N. La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90036
(323) 525-0202

For those of you who are interested, we'll descend on Hollywood en force to support poker player/blogger/writer/actor Wil Wheaton and then go hit the tables at Commerce or the Bike afterwards. Perhaps the Geek can also convince Mr. Wheaton to come with.

It's only the biggest pot I've ever lost.

Javacool Software has released the latest version of SpywareBlaster, a free tool for preventing spyware. I'm not sure what the difference is between this and version 3.2, but you'll need to install version 3.3 in order to get the latest definition files, which is generally a good idea, especially if you're still using Internet Explorer. Personally I much prefer Firefox due to its tabbed browsing, integrated search, live bookmarks, and cool extensions that let you obliterate ads from a web page.

By the way, if you already have a spyware infestation, you'll need to get some tools to eliminate it from your computer. Check out my "Public Service Announcement: Dealing with Spyware" from last July for tips on how to do it.

If you're sure you don't have spyware and your computer is still behaving a bit sluggish, you might want to check out Black Viper, buy some memory, or buy a new computer.

Be sure to check out that last link like now:

Inspiron 8600 + $27 - Add $27, Use $750 off coupon = $749 shipped

But don't be a cheap bastard. Get the high-res WUXGA (I think that's the one) so you don't have to buy an external monitor like me.

I didn't start this war, but I sure as hell intend to win it.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you will kindly direct your attention to the blog roll gracing the right hand side of this screen, you will notice a new section entitled: "LA Poker Blogs." There you will find links to bloggers from all over the Los Angeles Consolidated Metropolitan Statistical Area. We've got the numbers, we've got the goods. Thank you.

Not a poker blog either

I'm sorely tempted to link up Facty as an LA poker blogger. She's not really a poker blogger, but she's an amusing read, and that's almost as good, and sometimes better.

Take the 10 East to the 5 South. Exit Washington.

For my part, there's really not much for me to say about last Saturday's Commerce expedition. I called too much on one hand, fairly certain I was beat, and lost half a buyin. All my other hands failed to catch or got out-flopped. I may have even been outplayed once or twice. But it was a nice enough table, and I was fairly happy to be there.

The largest pot that went down (which I was not involved in) was about $550 between A3, Q3, and presumably Ax on a A33XX board. All the money went in on the turn. I could only watch with a certain measure of jealousy as Mr. A3 swept the pot. This was a guy who had $400 when I sat down and slowly lost half of it over the course of a couple hours. The $550 pot built him back up, but he proceeded to call large bets preflop and on the flop only to fold on the turn. I needed a goddamn hand against him, but never got a shot at those chips.

I probably would have lost more money playing the 2/4 limit game with the other bloggers, but I'm pretty sure I would have had a better time. After Grubby showed up (the guy doesn't sleep, apparently), I cashed out my chips and we wandered over to the back room purgatory where they squeezed the 2/4 players onto tiny Pan tables. Joe's got a good account of the hijinks there, which you should probably read if you haven't already. I got the feeling that the small room, small tables, and small stakes made the game akin to someone's loosey-goosey home game in a casino environment. When you suckout on someone, you might feel bad that you played less than perfect poker. When you suckout on someone you know, well... that's just funny. At any rate, it was more fun to watch these boys play that game, ramming and jamming with second pair or the hammer than to sit and fold crap hands out on the main floor.

I'm still busy as hell, and the cloud of my losses over the three last sessions is still hanging over me, so I think this'll be it on the poker front for a big longer.

The good news is that I got a passing score on the written portion of my comp exam, and if I use my procrastination poker winnings to reimburse my checking account for the printing costs, I can halfway justify procrastinating in the first place....

Especially in the face of a certain Texas-based blogger who mind-bogglingly claims that Austin > LA, when, in fact, it is vastly inferior. Allow me to trot out the evidence:

1. WPBT: Bill Rini represents the LA contingent at the final table on March 30, 2005. Austin is sadly absent.

2. Must-read blogs: The Cards Speak, The Obituarium, Chicks Dig Poker Geeks, Bill's Blog

3. Local casinos: At least five casinos are situated within half an hour of one another with 24-hour poker action and anything you want to play from 1/2 to games where one small bet costs more than both my cars combined.

So it's probably time to take advantage of these warm, breezy, 60-degree evenings and get together with some of these must-read bloggers (including a WPBT final-tablist) at one of these local casinos to play some cards.

Am I bragging? You bet.

Well poker's been kicking my ass the past couple days. Down a few hundred from some very poor calls on my end mixed with the occasional beat. I essentially pissed away the money I'd deposited on MultiPoker for their reload bonus and then lost a buyin at Full Tilt.

So with the exception of playing this Saturday in a casino, I think poker will have to have a time out. Bad poker. I mean, it was great as a procrastination tool last week, but right now I'm just not feeling it.

When I say "MultiPoker" to myself, I usually pronounce it the way that Milla Jovovich's character in The Fifth Element pronounces "MultiPass." It probably has something to do with the fact that she has a weird accent in that movie and MultiPoker is full of Swedes. Oh, and she's hot, too.

Anyway, MultiPoker just sent me an email saying that I'd get a 100% reload bonus up to $100 using bonus code "APR05RELOAD" with a raked hand requirement of 20 times the bonus amount within 20 days. Let's see... that's 2000 hands divided by 4 tables... 500... divided by 50 hands an hour... oh. 10 hours. Easy Peasy.

So I have no idea whether or not this is a bonus that's applicable to any and all comers, or if it's account-specific, but you should probably sign up for MultiPoker (yet another Party skin), clear their new account bonus, and then reload with the special code to try to get the reload bonus. The deadline for using the reload bonus code is APRIL 10, 2005 23:59 EST.

All the stories have focused on the race track operations, but what we really want to know is: What will happen to our local poker room?

San Gabriel Valley Tribune: Hollywood Park sale now appears a likely scenario

Whittier Daily News: Hollywood Park sale rumors heating up

Thoroughbred Times: Meeker addresses Churchill’s plans for Hollywood Park

If it were up to me, they'd expand the casino.

Finally! PokerStars now stores hand histories locally. Best of all, there have been no changes to the hand history format, which means it's already compatible with PokerTracker. Set up Stars and PokerTracker as directed by Pat and you'll have real-time information on your opponents. Use GameTime+ to display stats on the table (PV is not compatible with Stars).

Also, if you are using PokerTracker v 2.05.08, be sure to download the latest patch. The .09 release includes changes to deal with separating Party's old NL/PL blind structure games from those with the new blind structure. While you're there, pop into the PokerTrackerGuide sticky topic and post your own experiences with the guide.

That's it. I'm through.

And here I thought I was going to keep any substantial gains in my bankroll for once. True to form, it's been about 3-4 months since my last bankroll nosedive and I am nothing if not predictable.

Grrr.

A little piece of advice for you guys who still have money. After you lose five buy-ins at the .50/1 NL tables, DO NOT take a shot at 5/10 NL to get it back. What day is it? April 1st?