{"id":2350,"date":"2011-08-02T14:09:02","date_gmt":"2011-08-02T21:09:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/?p=2350"},"modified":"2011-08-02T14:36:28","modified_gmt":"2011-08-02T21:36:28","slug":"how-to-keep-your-political-career","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/2011\/08\/02\/how-to-keep-your-political-career\/","title":{"rendered":"How to keep your political career"},"content":{"rendered":"

Some free, but useful advice on how to stay in politics. <\/p>\n

12 things to avoid:<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Don’t take pictures of yourself naked.<\/li>\n
  2. Don’t take pictures of your reproductive organs while wearing something tight\/revealing.<\/li>\n
  3. Don’t engage in sexually explicit conversations over the Internet or by text message.<\/li>\n
  4. Don’t do anything remotely sexual with an underage person.<\/li>\n
  5. Don’t have an affair in a foreign country and lie about it.<\/li>\n
  6. Don’t have a relationship with a call girl.<\/li>\n
  7. Don’t pay for a prostitute with a check.<\/li>\n
  8. Don’t have an affair with someone who works for you.<\/li>\n
  9. Don’t have an affair with someone who is married to someone who works for you.<\/li>\n
  10. Don’t solicit strangers for sex in airport bathrooms.<\/li>\n
  11. Don’t have illegitimate children and deny responsibility.<\/li>\n
  12. Don’t make advances on the children of your donors.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If you do decide to ignore my advice and go ahead with any of these activities, then please pay attention to the following tips.<\/p>\n

    6 things that will make it worse:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Campaign based on your squeaky clean image.<\/li>\n
    2. Championing family values.<\/li>\n
    3. Public and loud criticism of other people’s indiscretions.<\/li>\n
    4. Anti-homosexual rhetoric, especially if you’re closeted.<\/li>\n
    5. Covering up with hush money.<\/li>\n
    6. Firing or threatening people who are involved.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      And finally, when you are caught (and you will be), come clean as quickly and openly as possible. Learn how to shed a tear in public, but try not bawl. Look and sound sincere. Keep a low profile. Work hard. And then maybe, if your constituents feel like they have a connection with you, they’ll let you keep your job. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Some free, but useful advice on how to stay in politics. 12 things to avoid: Don’t take pictures of yourself naked. Don’t take pictures of your reproductive organs while wearing something tight\/revealing. Don’t engage in sexually explicit conversations over the Internet or by text message. Don’t do anything remotely sexual with an underage person. Don’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/psIKy-BU","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2350"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2354,"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2350\/revisions\/2354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.studioglyphic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}