Thanks, F-Train. But I noticed one of the things missing from your list of seven things about you was the origin of Asphynxma.

Moving on…

1. Whenever we passed a 7-Eleven in the car, my brother used to announce that he was going to say “Seven” to mark the occasion. Upon hearing this, I would shout “Seven!” to my great amusement and his great distress. I still take pleasure in the psychological suffering of others today.

2. I was student body president of my elementary school. I did not use the veto or pardon powers one might associate with the office.

3. I went to Beverly Hills High School, but never had the opportunity to bitch-slap neither Brenda nor Brendon, as they were fictional characters. Nor did I stalk Angelina Jolie Voight, whom I have recently concluded is a fictional character in her own right.

4. I wasted most of my college years online figuring out this Internet-thingy. All of my real jobs are a direct result of that time-wasting. Now I help today’s college kids to waste time looking at girls online. I expect that in ten years the most prolific pornographers and Peeping Toms will owe me some thanks, and a few photos.

5. The Internet wasn’t the reason I was suspended from college my senior year, but it did give me something to do.

6. I’ve taken the MCAT, LSAT, and GMAT, and applied to medical school, law school, and business school, but I am not a doctor, laywer, nor douchebag. Okay, maybe I am the latter, but I didn’t learn it in school for $40k a year!

7. I think MySpace sucks. My job is to make it suck less.

And I tag…


Because they are either mysterious, secretive, or infrequent posters (thus ending this tagging nonsense).


Poker Gnome

Because he still reminds me of Robert Wagner.

And finally…

Fact Girl

Because her writing makes me happy.

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